Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Well, the month of June has been the month of transition. Moving into our new place has been really exciting and exhausting! This has been our first big move since being married. (I will say that moving two people and many rooms was a lot more difficult than moving one person and one room. I can’t imagine moving a whole family. Lord, help me on this day!) I will say on behalf of Matt that driving ten minutes to work opposed to an hour and half is the BEST THING EVER. Kennesaw is nice place to be. Everything you can imagine is here! It could be a negative thing for our pockets. I guess we will have to practice self control. After many days of cleaning, painting just about every room, and planting some flowers that I think are dying at the moment, our sweet new place is finally feeling like home!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The last couple of weeks in middle school have been extremely difficult. I feel like my day is filled up with nothing but reprimanding and refereeing. All of a sudden, everyone has a major attitude and has decided to give up. As a teacher it is so disheartening. How do I motivate? How do I encourage? How do not fall into the same habits as my children? From 8:30 this morning, until 2:30 this afternoon it was one incident after the other. From one child who becomes outraged if the wind blows the wrong way, to another child throwing a book across the room out of anger, to another child screaming and calling me names... needless to say I pulled out of my school today in tears. I was not crying because of hurt feelings or personal violation; it was more of a brokenness for these children. I’m not dealing with rebellious adolescents; I’m dealing with rebellious sinners in great need for a Savior. Why would they make the right choice? Why would they be different? When I look at my students, I think about how many of them hear the name of Jesus in their home. It sickens me to think about it. How many of them will hear the gospel in their lifetime? I heard someone saying the other day that, “As a teacher you hold souls in your hand every day.” Forgive me Lord for forgetting about this, for allowing my sin of impatience, anger, and numbness to keep me from loving these children. Give me the grace to love them like you love me.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Since I have been married I have been attempted to become a good cook. Sometimes my efforts fail and sometimes they succeed. Last week, they succeeded! I bought a chicken for five dollars and cooked it. With that five dollar chicken I made about three meals! Three good meals! It has been hilarious to hear Matt talk about “Mama Sauers’s” success in the kitchen. I don’t think he believes in my abilities quite yet ha ha. I tell him to give me about ten to twenty years and I will be the next Paula Dean! (Matt Sauers I now have 7 recipes to add to my recipe box!)
One of our traditional date nights is to go to the coffee shop on the Carrollton square. The other night Matt and I went and I left with a thankful and humbled heart. As we were sitting on the couch drinking our coffee, a young guy came and sat down right beside us. At first I thought nothing about it. I continued reading my book and began noticing his face. His face looked as if it was filled with sadness, confusion, and disgust. I believe disgust with life. He sat there staring into his coffee cup and sighing looking up occasionally to see if we noticed. After awhile, I noticed him picking up the Bible and reading it. I wondered if he did that because Matt and I were talking about the Bible. I nudged Matt and he knew what I was thinking…We needed to talk to him and try and share. I felt nervous and a sense of weightiness. Sharing the gospel is what I am called to do as a believer. It is what I desire to do. Why is it so hard and so uncomfortable? Why does my sin of insecurity have such weight over me? Matt opened his mouth and began to dialogue with this guy. It was almost as if the guy desired to talk to us but when Matt did he held back. Why? I could look at this guy and tell he was hurting and completely broken. We left the coffee shop that night not being able to share with the guy, but we were definitely reminded of the second greatest commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” I only hold “life” in my hand because Christ so graciously gave it to me. Why would I hold onto it? On the way home Matt and I prayed that we would see this guy again and be able to share the gospel. I was thankful, thankful of my salvation for one but also thankful for my marriage. I have not only been given “life” but I have been given a husband to share in the Great Commission with me. What a blessing.
At one point the word “car trouble” gave me a slight twitch and many gray hairs. Today, I can laugh about it and share. About two months ago, Matt and I had a couple of weeks of nothing but bad luck with our cars. Let me sum it up quickly… It began with Matt totaling our Honda, a huge tree branch falling on my grandmother’s Highlander in our front yard, our Explorer’s transmission went out, on the way to get the Explorer fixed it was hit on the interstate, we rented a car, we bought another car, after getting fixed the Explorer’s transmission went out again on my way to school. (PS: I had to walk to school.) That exhausts me physically and mentally typing it.
Currently, Matt and I are in a place in our lives where we aren’t quite sure where the Lord is leading us. Surprisingly enough, I am at peace and don’t feel the need to make my own plans! PRAISE THE LORD! We are constantly reminded of the verse in Proverbs 19 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” I think the Lord is teaching us to trust His plans for our lives, and wait patiently constantly thinking on the verse in Psalms 46“Be still and know that I am God.” If anything through this whole process it has made me thankful. Thankful that God is faithful to His children, He is sovereign, and He is good even in the midst of this unstable world.
During this time of uncertainty and transition into the unknown, I have clung to the verse in Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Many people cling to this verse during hardship. I realized that for a long time I have clung to only part of the verse “All things work together for good.” What person does this happen to? The person who “loves” God. The greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This realization about this verse has reminded me of not only God’s commitment to me but my commitment to Him. Do I love God this much? My prayer is that during every moment of our lives good, bad, ugly, and currently Matt and I would love God with all our hearts, souls, and minds.